Fall baseball
Five weeks
Hubby coaching
Son playing
Me watching
0-10 record
{gulp}
In a world that values
the fastest
the smartest
the strongest
the most talented
the very best
losing
game after game
week after week
was
tough.
A league with no
try-outs and a roll of
the dice player selection
resulted in a team of boys
comprised of
the youngest,
the smallest and
the least experienced.
Not ideal,
but deal, they
had to do.
Slapping hands with
the victorious opponents
after ten games ~
Good game
Good game
Good game
could have made these
longing to win young
players feel pretty low.
But throughout the season
the boys {and their coaches}
lifted each other up with
words of encouragement...
That's the way!
You can do it!
Nice try!
You'll get it next time!
These losers showed
all the winners that it
truly is how you play
the game.
Even as I winced at
the lopsided scores
and ached for dejected
11 and 12 year-old faces,
I was learning, too.
About facing
daunting challenges
About savoring
smaller victories
About the power
of words to make
one dig deeper
About staying the
course, even when
you want to throw
in the towel....or glove.
In our own lives, most
of us have had our winning
moments; moments we
hold close and can usually
remember in vivid detail.
They were wonderful,
weren't they?
But it's the losing moments,
the ones we'd rather not
recall, that often have the
greatest impact on who
we will become.
Everyone wants to win,
but the grace,
the grace comes when
we learn to lose with
humility,
picking ourselves up,
plugging away,
not giving in,
not turning bitter,
not blaming
or cursing
or feeling sorry
for ourselves.
Because how we
respond to a loss ~
and what we do
with those feelings ~
tells more about our
character than what
we do with a win.
Learning to lose
without becoming
a
loser.
Sounds like a
winning
strategy, to me : )
xx
Suzanne
PS: Major ice cream therapy
was applied after the final
game of the season on Sunday.
I highly recommend it!
40 comments:
Oh, the memories this brought back. My three are long-grown, but I still can close my eyes and watch them through chain-link...sliding into home, red dust clouds, sweaty grins (or tears), the jubilation of a hard-fought win. Or a Dairy Queen to soothe a loss. My two sons are nearing 30, but still play softball together every summer and fall (always on the same team), and I am so pleased that they still like for me to come and watch them.
Suzanne, I have three sons and I went to many losing games... I know just what you are talking about.
Our youngest son - is assistant coach for the freshman football team for our highschool - and , this wek is their last game. They haven't won one yet...
oh boy. But they keep trying!
Sweet post!
Have a pretty day!
Kristin
Aaaah!! I remember that is one of the harder lessons in life to learn. Having 3 sons all in sports I saw the agony of defeat in their little faces from time to time. They survived and continued playing until they were too old to be in a league. Lots of wonderful memories spent on the baseball field. Kudos to your little guy for being such a good sport and a winner in his Mom's eyes for sure!! xo Kathysue
Oh, Suzanne, I hurt for your mother's heart. I've been there. Yes, it is hard but you're doing a good job in what you're teaching. Enno asked me the other day, Do you ever stop being the teacher? No. And the ice cream helps. xo Jenny
Ahh, bless them!
These lads show such strength of character by coming back, time after time. We can't all be winners all the time, and you're so right, Suzanne, it is how we deal with defeat that really makes us winners or losers.
Ice cream therapy always works!
xx
How beautiful! And what great little boys...so much hope and heart in your son's team.
I hope you are doing well :)
Dearest one,
YES, this is the way to play the game, with DIGNITY, GRACE and FUN. I have to learn to live with the huge truth that I will not make a living out of writing, so that is a loss to me lately, for seeing other talented writers who can't find work in this GAME of life has brought me the reality. SO...I have to find the courage to keep playing JUST FOR FUN (hmmmm...I think I detect my next post) and enjoy it for what it is...a gift, a passion, a need to do it, but not a live-all, die-all WIN OR LOSE thing.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS ON MY COMMENTS PAGE!!!!!
Anita
I love your saying -learning to lose without being a loser. I'm sure many a professional should try and adopt that. Great kids to enjoy playing for the experience, but I do wish them some good luck for next time!
x
even though most men don't agree, i think that losing at sports and especially being on a losing team for a season is one of the best things a young child can go through.. they need to learn how to lose. and it makes them hungry for a win on the next team and they will play with every ounce of their hearts.
we are going through something similar right now. my son is on freshman football.....along with about 85 other boys, yes, 85. they do not cut in our school district even up to varsity. austen has gotten very little playing time as the coaches play the same kids all of the time...he wanted to quit a couple of weeks ago but we told him that winners don't quit mid season. sometimes sticking it out when you aren't even playing is really hard too!! in the meantime, we encourage him to consider that all of the conditioning and practices are only making him stronger.....and it shows him how to stick it out and finish what he committed to.
ice cream really does help too!!! :)
xo, cindy
I'll just have some ice cream and sit in the stands please. :-))
oh goodness girl that was beautiful. i didn't realize his team was struggling. that is hard, but you are so right that it is through those losses that you learn so much. great pics btw.
From someone who was ALWAYS the last to be chosen when choosing teams for PE sports games, I can relate. But I'm a true beliver that it doesn't really matter what life throws at you, it's how you respond to it. I think losing gracefully is as important as winning gracefully.
Best,
Susan
So many lessons in this post; for little ones as well as adults. Sometimes life is not fair, ending up on a team where everyone is small and inexperienced, sometimes it is a challenge to keep showing up when your team is 0-10, and sometimes there are lessons about team work, pulling together, encouraging one another and perseverance. For your sons team and my husbands favorite team the Kansas City Chiefs...the only difference is the Chiefs get paid.
You are an inspiration to your son and to me for realizing that even as an adult there are lessons to be learned in life, I love "learning to lose without becoming a loser".
Thank you for sharing your lessons!
A hard and difficult lesson best learned early.
yes yes yes. oh my do i understand every word of your post. my husband also coached. both our sons are baseball players. and the younger one had a season like this, and yet they were not defeated!!! right? they were deepened. and witnessing this deepened me. you have caused me to recall some wonderful priceless memories, suzanne. oh how i miss watching all three of them play!
love to you.
michele
Sometimes I think it is more difficult to watch my children learn these life lessons than go through them myself. But go through them we must. The best we can do is offer our unwavering love, support and prayers. And ice-cream too:)
Thanks Suzanne!
This is such a wonderful post, Suzanne! Its hard to go through a season like that, but it sounds like they learned so much and were so supportive of each other! I had to remove my son from a team at age seven(!) where the coach allowed players to yell at each other and be very unsupportive...NOT what I wanted my child to learn from sports. It was far worse than losing! Your husband is the best kind of coach- I wish my sons could have had him!
Over here in good old blighty, some team sports have been scrapped by certain schools, so that the losers do not suffer disappointment. Such a silly and misguided attitude. Life is a mixture of losing and winning, and unless we learn how to cope with the balance of the two in earlier life children never learn to mature.
Having said that on the make a wish side, I would love to wave a fairy wand and transform all those battle weary little faces into joyful winners. Coping with your childs sadness is a very hard to cope with.
PS Ice cream therapy should be on prescription.xx
Dear Suzanne,
I have been there , in fact , last year with my son's basketball team , but we were making the most of the situation(as you do ) : teaching our 12 - year - old the life's greatest lesson . You've failed many times , although you may not remember , the first time you try to walk , swim, riding a bicycle ... Einstein, Newton,Disney ...just to name a few failed numerous times before they finally succeeded , and as the wise man says - Don't worry about failure. Worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try . What I really believe is that achieving success every time without failure contributes to the rising of arrogance and self- complacency .
This is a BRILLIANT post !
Sounds like a fabulous day - what i have to look forward to. I am due in Feb. with my first. I am not a fan of baseball so wtih a little girl coming i am hoping for volleyball or socccer or tennis :)
wisdom..that is what this is. Personally - it is the losing times, the hard places when the real work has happened in my heart. Honestly, as much as I'd love to win at it all or have it all it would only make me a nasty ugly person..yes, it is a choice we all have and it isn't always easy but it sure reaps beautiful things later on:) a happy day I'm wishin for ya! and ice cream sounds really good...
xo
Oh my goodness . . . those boys are cute.
Fondly,
Glenda
Awe.
We were in a similar boat with my daughter's spring softball team. Her first team sport and no experience at all. They ended the year in second to last place.
It crushed me every time she'd go up to bat and stike out. She'd sit in the dugout and cry. I had to choke back the tears myself and tell her to be strong, that we'd keep on practicing til she got it.
We survived it and are fully immersed in a much more successful fall ball team now. ;) Kids...so many heartaches for us parents.
Hugs~
T
I know this story all too well Suzanne. Isn't is better to learn to lose now than to suddenly turn 30 years old and have no idea what losing is like? Sports are very competitive where we live and we have seen parents build "power" teams that n.e.v.e.r lose. Yuck. Balance would be nice - win some lose some. Kudos to your husband for spending his time with those boys. I'm sure they learned more than just the game.
Suzanne,
Oh how I can relate. Around the same age my son went from a team that won every game to losing just about every game the following baseball season. It happened again with high school football. Take comfort in knowing how right you are about the lessons of losing. They teach our children lessons that serve them throughout their
lives!
xo,
~R
Aw man, that's too bad about the season. We've been there too and ice cream is definitely the best therapy! Hoping the next season brings the taste of victory after this character-building one!
The crucible of this lesson is truly profound. No one wishes to lose but doing it with your dignity intact and your character enriched is certainly a lesson many could use.
Ice cream therapy ALWAYS does the trick for me.
You couldn't have said it any better. It's during our lowest losing moments we find the will and the power to succeed and come out on top. Even if it isn't on the ballfield.
Thanks so much for your visit and kind support during
this time...love the music and cool song...you can count of me. xx Cynthia
That would be a toughy. Are they going to give it another go next year?
Losing is a fact of life and unfortunately we probably experience more losses over the years than wins. But it's such an important lesson to learn - it makes us all grow stronger and more determined to succeed in everything. I've never been a believer in the trophies for all participants - I grew up with clear winners and losers in sports and still think that's the way it should be. That's how Olympians strive to win - it wouldn't be the same if everyone won a medal would it? xo
Ice cream cures all! Thinking back on those dirt-stained baseball pants when the guys were little I think they would have liked to have been on your team rather than the one where only the 'good' players were in the game. That was a different kind of lesson learned.
xo Cathy
Suzanne,
Such tough lessons....but so character building. Experience is a better teacher than we could ever be. My little guys are still pretty young and just starting to learn how to be good sports.
And a little ice cream never hurt!
xoxo Elizabeth
Our six children are grown but we have been through similar times. One of our sons went through a D-1 college on a baseball scholarship.
He had a great first couple of years and after an injury spent the last two on the bench, not traveling. As parents it was hard to watch the dream disappear but our son continued to encourage other players and act as a role model. Hard but valuable lesson that helps him now as a coach and teacher
Lovely story!
It is tough, not winning over and over again. But learning to deal with defeat is more important than learning to win. No one needs to be taught how to win. Though for your sons sake I hope his luck does change a bit next season :D
Xoxo
Sarah
Oh I want to hug them all!
Or at least buy them even more ice cream. What a beautiful post.
Cass
What an amazing read! My son's team lost every game last year too. I like to think he learned more from that than he did this year when they won more often. Great, great blog and so happy to have found it!
This indeed is a sweet life lesson even though it tugs at your heart strings. You're so right, they are definitely not losers at all, you wrote this so beautifully Suzanne! xoxo ~Lili
Perfect! I love it when I can feel every word--humility in losing-yes--that is the key! Wonderful post, Suzanne-loved it!
yeah, it reminded me of the great movie things we lost in the fire, where the motto is "accept the good" and have some therapy ice cream :)
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